On Confidence - A story of confidence & ego

Dear friend,

It has been sometime since my posting. A lot has been going on with projects work and non-work related so I’ve been out of the blogging scene. I do however still have my memories and today I am going to talk about how balance is a key part of ones life and over stepping the mark out of tune with what the universe expects of you will just land you straight back on your ass.

Confidence is a great trait to have. To be bold and stand in the face of fear through confidence is wonderful. To be positive and to have goals is also a great way to keep the mind busy, develop your own ability and maybe even give back your teachings and learning’s to others.

The problem occurs when the confidence is overdone. I remember a story from my own life. I remember going through a good 6 month straight patch of just positive thinking, goal achieving, public speaking, winning projects and doing well in almost all aspects of life.

Toward the end of my reign about month 5 or 6 something happened. One evening I was at a corporate event and for some reason I just seemed to have lost all my confidence. No matter how much reframing I did, no matter how much I reprogrammed myself I could not just not get myself back to the same state.

I took it as a bad day and thought the next day would be better. Uh uh, no way. I just seemed to have lost my power. A week or so went by and I decided to look deep within and find out what exactly was the issue. Why was this happening to me. Why was I going from winning business, deals, getting dates, doing well financially to the other extreme or being dislikes, not doing well in social settings, losing deals and so on? Why was this happening?

After a deep inner dialogue and search it came to me. What I had done was to take my confidence and so called power get to my head. I became thinking of “self” more than anything. I disregarded everyone else in transactions I would undertake both in my social life and corporate life. I had let the ego take its form to the extreme polarity.

It was a great lesson learnt and I am very grateful that this experience happened to me. Everything requires balance. Sure it is great to be confident, however the difference is I started believing that “confidence” was who I was.

I was merely taking from the conscious self. The higher self knew better. The higher self knew that I was none of these things and as the situation became volatile the higher self bitch slapped me in my face and sat me back on my ass and said. “STFU and watch what is going on around you”.

Whenever there is an unbalance in our system our bodies tell us. The message can come through a disease, a neighbour, an email, a change in weather. It can come in many shapes and forms. The key is to be aware of this.

I am as much a confident as I am a good dancer. I cannot dance, but I can learn how to. As much as I am confident I am also lets say shit scared. Now it is upto us to balance this out.

Since my adventure which was about a year ago now, I have learnt that I can remain confident and still have empathy and this for us is key. Show empathy, show your love, your genuine interest and your confidence naturally shows.

The best way to judge whether you are being confident from the heart is to ask yourself this question. “When I sleep at night do I think that I am being fake”? This was a great one for me. Now this question also answers many other questions which I will be talking about in the coming month however that is a great one. “Do the people around me really know what I am like”?

Be yourself and your true self will shine. The higher self of confidence will take flight, the conscious flight will only come in every now and again.

I have since coached several key members of society on this matter and one of them clearly comes to mind. After reading books, watching audio books, going into self for almost 4 years he came to me and said “Consigno, I know it all”. This is too easy. I know everything there is to know. 3 months later, this person bitch slapped similar to me. He ended up getting fired from his job, gained 10Kg and even considered suicide.

After several consultations he was fine but the message to get here go with the belief that you are nothing and know nothing. This was you can always learn. This way you remain within, your inner being shines. People start asking you key questions, advice. They see your true being, they want to be like you.

It is a great gift. Remember, you never know everything. When your overconfidence creeps between that border when you lose yourself, you have one of two choices. Either you learn the hard way and get bitch slapped, or if you realise in time, you pull it back in balance.

There is nothing wrong with a bitch slap however if that same bitch slap happens again within the same circumstances then as the saying goes “only a fool makes the same mistake twice”.

Learn and move on.

Peace&Love



Consigno,